I recently watched Thomas Phelan’s popular parenting program
called 1-2-3 Magic. Phelan is a clinical
psychologist who developed a child management program that teaches parents how
to effectively discipline their children.
The gist of the plan is to enable parents to discipline children, ages 2
to 12, by instituting a system of counting and time-outs, delivered
straightforwardly and unemotionally. Parents
are instructed to start counting to 3 whenever their child is acting out. The child has the option to avoid a
consequence if he/she stops the behavior before the parent gets to three. However, if the parent gets to 3 and the
behavior doesn’t stop, the child gets a time-out.
According to Phelan, parents must stop thinking of their children as
little adults. Kids are not little adults; they are kids. Explanations,
persuasions, and logical reasoning usually have little or no effect on children.
In the video, Phelan talks about how children often feel small and
inferior compared to adults. Therefore, if
they can arouse an emotion in parents, such as anger or excitement they have
"scored" with an adult. They often enjoy the temporary power the
emotions and attention that "scoring" bring. Because of this, parents are encouraged to
not participate in arguments. You merely
count to three without saying anything else or getting upset, then start
time-out. When you continue to talk, argue, or show emotions, your child does
not realize that continued testing and manipulation is useless. Until he realizes
that it is useless, he will continue to try something that has worked in the
past.
This program is very popular and seems to be effective for some
parents. I would recommend checking it
out if you are having trouble with a young child. Here is a link to the website where you can
order the books and DVD’s.
http://www.parentmagic.com/aboutus-view.cfm
